Ah Koh’s wedding

I reached Ah Koh’s home at 7am, the agreed time. I was part of his entourage to fetch the bride. The first news I received was there would be a delay as the bride’s entourage was late. Ah Koh ran through the planned schedule with us. At around 8am, we set off to fetch his bride.


The first obstacle was at the door. Usually there would be some haggling between the doorkeeper and the bridegroom to settle on the bribe to open the door. To my surprise, there was not much haggling, the doorkeeper took what Ah Koh gave. I think that must be a fat bribe he gave.


The second obstacle was for the bridegroom and his entourage to memorize and recite some bible verses. We failed the task and the penalty was a slice of lemon each.


The third obstacle was aimed at the bridegroom. He was to answer a list of questions related to his bride. I think he got some of them wrong, thus another penalty. This time the penalty was a biscuit, with wasabi on it, for each of us. It was terrible. The minute I took the first bite, my nose, throat, and eyes felt the first wave of impact, and we had to finish that biscuit. I felt like throwing away that biscuit.


Ah Koh was then handed a bunch of keys. One of them was the key to the bride’s room. After a few tries, he finally found the key to open the door. Mission accomplished. Compared to what some bridegrooms went through, what we had was really mild. I later learnt that this gatecrash activity was cut short as we started late.


Then we brought the couple back to the bridegroom’s house for the tea ceremony. Then we went back to the bride’s house for another round of tea ceremony. This time, with the roasted pig. I heard that the pig was around 30kg. After the second tea ceremony, we went back to the bridegroom’s house. This time, the roasted pig was left with the head and tail, and its body was replaced by a pair of pants and belt. By then I had lost track of how many times I had removed my shoes. It would be easier with slip-on shoes.


From there, we proceeded to the church for a quick lunch before the church ceremony commenced.


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